Life is wild right now.
We're in Leo season. Leo is bold and daring. Ferociously passionate and happy to lead the way, in fact, leading is all it knows.
It's fun to see how things are shifting. My sun, I learned earlier today, lost his virginity this week. Don't tell him I told you. His girlfriend is really something. I've been giving him sex/sensual instructions, on the fly, when it feels right, so that when the time came for him, he would have a little roadmap of things to consider while on his journey. He's 17 yrs old and leaving for college in a few short weeks. Wow.
One down, two to go.
Parenting never ends though. Ask my Mother. I go to her when I need advice. She's great at listening, keeps an open mind, shares love with me, and only criticizes me a little. At some point in life, everyone must learn that criticizing is a low-ball move and it destroys relationships. My mother thinks that criticizing is a tool used for learning. She was born in the USSR. And She's a Leo. Oy vay!
At some point in life we have to learn how to speak what we know and how we feel by carefully choosing the way we deliver our message, because if don't learn this very valuable skill, we will lose people and break connections. The other very important thing to learn how to do is give feedback in a loving, generous, and kind way. This way people really get to take some space from the self-doubt that cripples them, and further they can trust the good intentions of a person who gave a damn enough to notice the things that make them shine, plus maybe providing ideas on how the shine can be polished to a finer degree.
The way you know you may have a problem with being able to express yourself well is if you use sarcasm or passive aggressive remarks to people in order to get your point across. Usually cynical people have low emotional IQ's. They're not very fun to be around. I find myself in the company, sometimes, of people who have little good to say about anything. Sadly, it's so familiar to me. My body starts talking to me when there's too much negativity around, it reminds me of my childhood.
What took me 40 years to learn was that it's really important to speak the truth even if it makes people uncomfortable, but the key is saying it straight. I like saying "can I be honest with you?" before I'm going to say something that will threaten someone's personal and/or misguided beliefs. I come across people who are not in tune with natural laws, or deep feminine knowing. I live in a place where men are hailed supreme and women, well, they're considered little or less than. They're naivité is taken advantage, and they're relegated to domestic duties so much so, that they obsess over whether the towels and sheets are matching and are in perfect sizable order. They have a dull glaze in their eyes. This type of woman is starved of her wild soul, all in the name of conditioning and conformity.
Women who are connected to their Los Ovarios (eggs) are thought to be untrustworthy, because they see through a clear and shrewd lens, and this plagues the systems and institutions where soul-robbery is practiced with razor sharp precision. Old women with great knowing are discarded and ignored in sick cultures who fail to recognize her gifts of story. The kinds of stories that send goose prickles over your ancient DNA, and ones that would cause an uprising of consciousness so great no false gods could survive its current of powerful and uncut truth.
Wolves and wild women are an endangered species.
My father is a cynical person. He's also racist and judgmental. He has a problem with everybody. And complains that nobody loves him. He tells me that a person has to be in control of their emotions, but he doesn't know what to do with them when they flood his system (after he gets triggered by something). And he's not a good listener, so when he talks himself in circles about his disgust over something, and begins to raise his volume exponentially, there's little anyone can do to calm him down. When this happens what usually works is I have to raise my voice and meet him where he's at to get his attention, walk away, or hang up the phone. As I've gotten older he calls me the "good daughter" because I've learned how to walk him off the ledge without incident.
My youngest sister is dating a Thai young man who is in Canada by himself (my original family lives there). His family sent him to Canada from Thailand to start a good life in the "free-world", and to send for them once he figures out his documentation. He's 20 years old. My father thinks this young man is obsessed with his daughter because he wants immigration papers and seeks to get her pregnant so they can marry.
The funny thing is that this is literally the story of my parents.
My mother got pregnant and my father was not mad about it, because she received legal documentation to the free world, and she was going to give him everything. And for 14years she did.
The other funny story is that this is exactly what happened to me. I got pregnant as a Canadian living in the U.S., and decided it was a great idea that we get married, after my ex-mom-in-law suggested it.
Ok, what's there to lose, I thought?
I won't answer that question.
I was married for 14 years to my ex-husband, God bless his soul. Can you see the pattern?
My Father is racist and does't want my youngest sister to marry a man who has nothing, and who is brown. These are his words. These are his projections.
What kind of soup were you cooked in?
The point to all of this is that it's vital to recognize the patterns. To honor them and maybe, if there is enough awareness, to choose something different. Keep what is valuable within the familiar, but expand enough to go for the exotic thing.
Psychedelics saved my life. Gracias por todo, Madré
In the case with my sun, he was cooked in our soup, and as much as possible I share the stories with him, so he can glean the meaning behind them and use them as soul-food.
I am full-frontal with my kids. Nothing to hide, everything is on the table. I want them to learn the best of what I have to give, as well as hear my stories so they can feel into the wisdom of how story teaches important life lessons that unify us as humans, through lived experience.
Our spirits live in our stories.
Thanks for being here.
Sincerely,
Marian
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